The Graham Cinema

I've been hesitant about posting this here, but I've decided that until we get a few thousand more readers it won't be a problem.  You should all know about The Graham Cinema.  It is a very old theater located in Graham, NC.  All seats are $2, and it's best if you show up late so that you don't have to see the condition of the place with the lights on.  But, that's not the point. The point is that you have to call this phone number:

(336) 226-1488

That's "Tim-Bob's famous joke line."  If you want to know what's playing at the Graham Cinema, you call this line, and it takes you to Tim-Bob's voice mail where he spends 5 minutes telling you about the movies that they're showing.  He usually hasn't seen them.  Then, he spends a while telling you some jokes.  Whether or not they're funny, it's always entertaining.  Seriously, call that number.  You'll see.  It gets updated every week or so.  The reason I was hesitant about posting it is because there is only one line, so if it gets too popular, you won't be able to call in.  But, I don't "too popular" is our problem.

I should mention that the Graham Cinema hotline is excellent for hitting on women, or so I'm told.  Suppose you're trying to mac up on this girl, and it's not going that well.  She's probably trying to make some excuse about why she's got to leave because you're creeping her out, but don't fear.  Just try the following:

You: Wait, before you go ... have you ever called the Graham Cinema?

Her:  No.  I have to leave.

You:  Hang on now.  This will be worth your time.

Her:  Fine, but it better not take long.

You:  Sweet.  Check this out.

You dial the above number, put it on speaker phone and wait.

Her: I love you.

The thing to remember is this: it doesn't matter how drunk you are, or how much you've already embarrassed yourself in the evening; you can always save the situation and get the girl by using this secret weapon.  It's better than a guitar ... well it's close.

- Seth